I used to be a firm believer in karma. I used to believe that the universe would somehow always find a way to balance a negative outcome for a positive one. I used to rationalize everything that happened in life to the equation for the conservation of momentum - energy (everything) cannot be created, only transferred. I grew up with the idea that God would reward me for good deeds, and punish me for my transgressions, however trivial in nature. However, if there's something I can take from the last couple years of my life, it's that life doesn't owe you shit. Not a damn thing. If you do what you've always done, you're going to get what you've always got. Bottom line. Life is nothing but a series of hundreds of billions of dependant probabilities. I say dependant because I feel no two decisions are completely unrelated (The Butterfly Effect). In the same way a coin flip depends on what pocket I took the coin out of, or how I toss it, nothing in your life is purely random. Where you are right now is entirely dependant on every single choice you have made previous to the moment in which you stand.
However, as with all things, time has brought me to a crossroads. Call it a quarter-life mental breakdown, minus the breakdown.
** In the same way John Mayer will never win the World Series, and Albert Pujols will never write a triple-platinum album, I can never be every single thing I want to be in life. We are all victims to age, as we are also held victim to our own capabilities. I could train for 10 years and I'm 99% sure I still won't be the fastest man on Earth. Our generation is fascinated by seeing 'experts' on YouTube, always accomplishing incredible things. My problem is that I have an extremely obsessive personality. When I see someone do something incredible, my first instinct is to figure out what I can accomplish and replicate the feat. Juggling? Got it. Rubik's Cube? Sure thing. A plethora of chip tricks? ...kind of. Being multi-talented, dexterous and intelligent is a blessing, but what does it accomplish? Yes, I plan on putting out albums someday. I also plan on being a world-renowned poker phenom. But why? While I believe I'm on the right track to doing both, I believe I have quite a way to go. What comes next though? I don't want to live the life of a degenerate poker player, but at the same time I'm willing to commit my life to. My goal is not to live someone else's life, or fulfill someone else's goals. Life, as it should be, is a buffet of "Do-Whatever-The-Fuck-You-Want" and that's how it is meant to be lived, imho. (On a side note, poker is not a game of ego. In fact, it's the opposite. Keep your emotions in check, because when the fish you've been jawing for 20 minutes gets AA, the more emotionally involved you are, the worse and more embarrassing it's going to be.)
Anyways, as par the usual... I'm going to leave this blog post with loose ends. Maybe I'll tie em up someday...
Cheers, Jon.
Ps, 2 more weeks til Lindsay. I'm more than excited.
Monday, 28 May 2012
Tuesday, 22 May 2012
Time For Leaving - Cover
Again, not a proper blog post. Procrastination at its finest.
Here's a video of me covering Daniel Wesley's "Time For Leaving"
Enjoy!
Here's a video of me covering Daniel Wesley's "Time For Leaving"
Enjoy!
Sunday, 20 May 2012
Motivation (Or Lack Thereof...)
This morning, I've already succumbed to the reality that this post ends terribly. I have no motivation to write, except the panic of having gone a week without any good ideas. So instead... I'm just leaving you a picture.
When I work up the will to write about something exciting... I'll find some inner strength to write my heart out.
- Jay
When I work up the will to write about something exciting... I'll find some inner strength to write my heart out.
- Jay
How I picture every foreign player when they win a big pot... :-)
Tuesday, 8 May 2012
Marathon Man
Sore? Whatchu know about running a marathon? Whatchu know about WRITING one? (Warning, we've got a marathon of a blog post here.)
On Saturday, I finally owned up to myself and decided to take on a long distance run. Okay, so it wasn't quite a marathon. However, for a guy who wakes up and pushes buttons hoping for miracles, the thought of a 25 km run was almost laughable. 25 km? Pfft, no way my three-years-out-of-high-school body could survive the first 100 meters. Let alone how affected my ADD-riddled brain would be, enduring the monotony of running constantly passing field after field. It seemed like the epitome of a horrible Saturday afternoon. However, in the first kilometer of my run, it really dawned on me what I was missing by staying so inactive all these months. Yes, I was sweating instantly (weather: flawless) but there was something more about running than just being in the fresh air. Freedom. It's a simple little kind of free, listlessly floating through the air, doing your body some good, putting your body into motion, connecting to your music while you connect to yourself. It really evokes a lot of self-reflection, something that in my opinion, is lost in every day life. We all do what we do, but in reality, we never really question our own interior motivations. In the words of the great Rick James, "I never just did things just to do them." (Mind you, he's talking about grinding his feet on Eddie Murphy's couch, but I digress...) All I'm saying, is that deciding to go for a run can be difficult for anybody, but that's not the point. It's about goal-setting and reaching your goals. Once you set your mind to doing anything and you accomplish your goal, the emotional reward is absolutely worth it. In poker, it just happens to be a nice monetary reward for success as well. :-) The physical toll of running... well, maybe don't start with 25km. Three days later, and this poor fragile body is still feeling the effects.
Currently, I'm sitting here now, watching a couple great poker players grind out various final tables for thousands of dollars. Incredible? Absolutely. During my final table run of the $27.50, I was asked about how I stayed so cavalier. I was talking to a friend of mine about the rush of the actual play of a final table, and how detached it actually becomes about the money. It's totally in the competitive nature of not only the poker player, but human beings. This gives me a good life thesis statement: The drive to succeed at everything is what motivates me. As I write this, Daniel Negreanu is heads up for the 5 card NL draw bracelet. As he tweets about it, he doesn't mention the $11,000 first prize, but the bracelet. A bracelet! On topic, I got to thinking about the future and how, someday, I would approach playing someone like Negreanu, Dwan, or Hellmuth at a table. Would I be seated solely for the thrill of the "celebrity effect"? Poker is beautiful in a sense that you have that easy, but costly access to playing with the best there is. In real life, I can't call up Roger Federer to ask for a tennis match. Roll up to the Bellagio, and you could find yourself playing against the very pros you watch on TV. Of course, I say this candidly, because I unless I win a Sunday Million in the near future I don't see this happening any time soon. (#whoknows) (A friend of a friend just chopped the $11 deep stack for $1k! Woot! What a grind!) After getting fairly psyched up for today's $11 400k, I busted two hands in, nut flush < full house. (Ad9s < TsTd on a 228T5, dddd board. Check-check turn = Fun times for my stack on the river.) Either way, my passion for actually playing has subsided, and it's actually quite depressing. I watch all this action happen around me, and I know the correct plan of action is to put in volume. I just can't will myself to get over this downswing by investing more of what I can't afford right now, both in time and money. However, I'm really starting to focus on the psychology behind what is actually taking place at the poker table. It's a nice, new perspective.
Anyway, another day of life and whatever comes along with it! Cheers! :-)
On Saturday, I finally owned up to myself and decided to take on a long distance run. Okay, so it wasn't quite a marathon. However, for a guy who wakes up and pushes buttons hoping for miracles, the thought of a 25 km run was almost laughable. 25 km? Pfft, no way my three-years-out-of-high-school body could survive the first 100 meters. Let alone how affected my ADD-riddled brain would be, enduring the monotony of running constantly passing field after field. It seemed like the epitome of a horrible Saturday afternoon. However, in the first kilometer of my run, it really dawned on me what I was missing by staying so inactive all these months. Yes, I was sweating instantly (weather: flawless) but there was something more about running than just being in the fresh air. Freedom. It's a simple little kind of free, listlessly floating through the air, doing your body some good, putting your body into motion, connecting to your music while you connect to yourself. It really evokes a lot of self-reflection, something that in my opinion, is lost in every day life. We all do what we do, but in reality, we never really question our own interior motivations. In the words of the great Rick James, "I never just did things just to do them." (Mind you, he's talking about grinding his feet on Eddie Murphy's couch, but I digress...) All I'm saying, is that deciding to go for a run can be difficult for anybody, but that's not the point. It's about goal-setting and reaching your goals. Once you set your mind to doing anything and you accomplish your goal, the emotional reward is absolutely worth it. In poker, it just happens to be a nice monetary reward for success as well. :-) The physical toll of running... well, maybe don't start with 25km. Three days later, and this poor fragile body is still feeling the effects.
Currently, I'm sitting here now, watching a couple great poker players grind out various final tables for thousands of dollars. Incredible? Absolutely. During my final table run of the $27.50, I was asked about how I stayed so cavalier. I was talking to a friend of mine about the rush of the actual play of a final table, and how detached it actually becomes about the money. It's totally in the competitive nature of not only the poker player, but human beings. This gives me a good life thesis statement: The drive to succeed at everything is what motivates me. As I write this, Daniel Negreanu is heads up for the 5 card NL draw bracelet. As he tweets about it, he doesn't mention the $11,000 first prize, but the bracelet. A bracelet! On topic, I got to thinking about the future and how, someday, I would approach playing someone like Negreanu, Dwan, or Hellmuth at a table. Would I be seated solely for the thrill of the "celebrity effect"? Poker is beautiful in a sense that you have that easy, but costly access to playing with the best there is. In real life, I can't call up Roger Federer to ask for a tennis match. Roll up to the Bellagio, and you could find yourself playing against the very pros you watch on TV. Of course, I say this candidly, because I unless I win a Sunday Million in the near future I don't see this happening any time soon. (#whoknows) (A friend of a friend just chopped the $11 deep stack for $1k! Woot! What a grind!) After getting fairly psyched up for today's $11 400k, I busted two hands in, nut flush < full house. (Ad9s < TsTd on a 228T5, dddd board. Check-check turn = Fun times for my stack on the river.) Either way, my passion for actually playing has subsided, and it's actually quite depressing. I watch all this action happen around me, and I know the correct plan of action is to put in volume. I just can't will myself to get over this downswing by investing more of what I can't afford right now, both in time and money. However, I'm really starting to focus on the psychology behind what is actually taking place at the poker table. It's a nice, new perspective.
Anyway, another day of life and whatever comes along with it! Cheers! :-)
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
Nuts and Bolts
Over the weekend, I had the privilege of playing at Live 88.5's 3rd Annual Poker "Event" Freeroll at Casino Lac-Leamy. Overall, this is one of the best "I'm in" decisions I've made in a while. Met a lot of great people, had a lot of great laughs, and regardless if I'm in Ottawa next year or not, I think I have to be here for this tournament next year. It ended up being a winner take all, $1000 grand prize package. 60 person field, 15 minute blinds, 8850 starting stacks... it was just an incredible experience. On a side note, it's nice waking up the next morning, hearing your name on the morning radio not for playing incredibly well, but being overly-entertaining. The day had a bit of everything, great bluffs, great action, great sandwiches (of course horrible, horrible beats) Fwiw, I finished 9th after a fish running at least 80/10 limp-called my UTG+1 10bb shove with J9s. If my name was Phil Hellmuth, it would've ended with a tirade for sure. After a KJ3 board, I pretty much gave up hope. The 10 on the turn gave me a good rush, but a 3 on the river sent me packing! Although, after seeing a friend's TT go down to 66 on a T6Q46 board, I couldn't even stomach calling it a bad beat. In summation, I'm happy I played every hand like a freakin' genius, but I'm even happier with both my social positivity. For the first time in a while, I felt like I was playing poker for recreation. I can get used to how that feels...
On the online poker realm, I've been taking it a little easier as of late. Doing more with my time aside from grinding for 8 hours a day. Not only do I hope this spurs some balance in me, but also opens my mind to some mistakes I've been making due to the monotonicity of pushing buttons. I've began walking for the sake of walking, pushing my body to max itself in different areas - both mentally and physically. For the last few weeks, I've felt like an unhealthy degen. Wake up, play poker, eat, sleep, rinse and repeat. I've been putting 'life' off by telling myself to survive the next month until my new start in Lindsay. When putting that in perspective, I feel I've used that excuse too many times in life. Get through public school, high school is coming... get through Grade 11, grade 12 is close... slush off Grade 12, University is coming... etc. To inspire change, you have to take action in the 'now'. My goal to combat this is to actually accomplish something important before I leave. Yes, I'll be busy more with work picking up at The Source, but I feel I can contribute more to my own life, and the life of those around me. Here's to making the most out of life, and squeezing out every last second. :)
Anyway, no graphs or charts to share half in part to lack of playing, but also to Pokertracker crashing, leaving me with a corrupted database. When I decide to throw a tournament session in, I'll be sure to post the results!
Cheers!
ps, let me know... when it comes to blogging - is shorter better? (Is this short enough?) You all know I'm very self-critical. >:)
---
You can find me on Twitter @JayKon17
On the online poker realm, I've been taking it a little easier as of late. Doing more with my time aside from grinding for 8 hours a day. Not only do I hope this spurs some balance in me, but also opens my mind to some mistakes I've been making due to the monotonicity of pushing buttons. I've began walking for the sake of walking, pushing my body to max itself in different areas - both mentally and physically. For the last few weeks, I've felt like an unhealthy degen. Wake up, play poker, eat, sleep, rinse and repeat. I've been putting 'life' off by telling myself to survive the next month until my new start in Lindsay. When putting that in perspective, I feel I've used that excuse too many times in life. Get through public school, high school is coming... get through Grade 11, grade 12 is close... slush off Grade 12, University is coming... etc. To inspire change, you have to take action in the 'now'. My goal to combat this is to actually accomplish something important before I leave. Yes, I'll be busy more with work picking up at The Source, but I feel I can contribute more to my own life, and the life of those around me. Here's to making the most out of life, and squeezing out every last second. :)
Anyway, no graphs or charts to share half in part to lack of playing, but also to Pokertracker crashing, leaving me with a corrupted database. When I decide to throw a tournament session in, I'll be sure to post the results!
Cheers!
ps, let me know... when it comes to blogging - is shorter better? (Is this short enough?) You all know I'm very self-critical. >:)
---
You can find me on Twitter @JayKon17
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
From Micro to Micro
Late night blogfest, this either ends with a masterpiece, or a master-piece of crap.
I took a completely different route from the norm today, and I went with a backer to play some daily tourney's. I decided I wanted to offer someone the chance (ahem, do me the favour...) of buying 50% of my profits in the Big $5.50 and Big $8.80. Thankfully, I found someone with a similar passion to succeed, and a great skill set who was willing to take a risk on a complete stranger. To make a long, crying story short, I didn't get to play the $5.50, tanked the $8.80, got bad beat out of the $22 and Big $11 (AJ < A2 twice, wouldn't you know?), and played the deep stack $11 like an absolute donk. The concept of playing poker with the pressure of performing well from an egotistical standpoint, along with the pressure of meeting financial goals has actually been a refreshing experience. I found myself more careful and decisive (and yes, sometimes admittedly weak) in my decision making. Either way, I tanked first 5 tournaments only to finish semi-deep in the last one. $26 for a $4 buy-in. Yay. (Still failed today, but it was a great experience. I can't thank my backer enough.)
Anywho, I'm going to write more in the morning. I've suddenly been hit by a brick wall of tired... Zzzzzz.
*****
The difference between sleeping from 12-7 and sleeping from 5-1 is incredible. It's like our bodies are one with the Earth's rotation. My body somehow knew I slept during the right time, and I feel like I achieved maximum... sleeping... potential? (I'm... Ron... Burgundy?) Honestly, this is one routine I can get used to forcing myself into. I find it funny how sleep starts as something you fight off as a child, to something you can't get enough of as you get older. There aren't a lot of things like that in life. Sleep and money are two of those things.
Older. Brings me back to a good conversation I had with my backer yesterday. The last few months, for the sake of being blunt, I've felt extremely old. Sure, anyone over the age of 25 will scoff, call me naive, and say 20 is such a young age, I've got my whole life ahead of me, etc. Life and age is all about perspective. It's about who you surround yourself with. I've always been used to surrounding myself in an older group. I was the grade ten student, walking around flirting with the grade 12 crowd. As a matter of fact, I even had trouble adapting to meeting people in my University program because of my put-offish attitude towards 'younger' people. I totally come across as condescending sometimes, regarding myself as 'higher' than someone of a less mature stature, and it's a personality flaw I'm making as my quarter-year's resolution to fix. People grow, but it's all a process. Processes take time, and being so adhd-riddled, this is a huge barrier for me. I have difficulties coming to terms with NOT telling a friend in high school why his/her 'drama' is laughable compared to problems in real life. Nobody wants to hear that their problems are trivial, yet in my head I feel it solves all problems to say, "Get over it" because that's my most used problem-solving method. In summary, I'm a condescending prick, and it's hopefully fixable. Rant, rant, rant... back to poker...
I'm going to go into more detail in a later post, but I've decided I'm only going to play 5NL in between tournaments, as tournaments are what I know best. It's like learning to ride a motorcycle, only to ride a bicycle to work every day. This same ideology applies in poker. Tournament junkies probably have to face the most vitriol because of the rarity of their winning sessions. My backer exuded such a cavalier attitude to finishing 30th in the $5r last night, I was astonished. The composure and confidence he brings into every game is something I look forward to promoting in my game. This brings me to my next point. It really doesn't matter what you do in life, as long as you yourself can rationalize doing it. If the best possible discourse to fix something in your life involves something that defies the social norm, in the long run, who cares? Once you lose all barriers of defying a cookie-cutter life, your life will start flourishing because of it.
That's it, I'm done. I'm having an issue with my Pokertracker (it thinks I won every tournament yesterday, which I guess isn't such a bad thing...) so this post will be void of graphs, unfortunately. This will be fixed by my next post. :) Cheers, and thanks again for all your feedback. Greatly appreciated.
~~~~~
Hand of the Day
PokerStars - $4+$0.40|100/200 NL - Holdem - 9 players
UTG+1: 10,816.00
UTG+2: 13,296.00
Hero (MP): 4,757.00
MP+1: 6,143.00
CO: 3,546.00
BTN: 10,770.00
SB: 12,024.00
BB: 23,847.00
UTG: 11,456.00
UTG+1 posts ante 25.00, UTG+2 posts ante 25.00, Hero posts ante 25.00, MP+1 posts ante 25.00, CO posts ante 25.00, BTN posts ante 25.00, SB posts ante 25.00, BB posts ante 25.00, UTG posts ante 25.00, SB posts SB 100.00, BB posts BB 200.00
Pre Flop: (pot: 525.00) Hero has 3d 3c
UTG raises to 400.00, fold, fold, Hero calls 400.00, MP+1 calls 400.00, fold, fold, SB calls 300.00, BB calls 200.00
Flop: (2225.00, 5 players) 2d Kd 2c
SB checks, BB checks, UTG checks, Hero checks, MP+1 checks
Turn: (2225.00, 5 players) 3s
SB bets 600.00, fold, fold, Hero calls 600.00, fold
River: (3425.00, 2 players) 9h
SB bets 1,800.00, Hero raises to 3,732.00 and is all-in, SB calls 1,932.00
Hero shows 3d 3c (Full House, Threes full of Twos) (Pre 53%, Flop 13%, Turn 95%)
SB shows 9s Kh (Two Pair, Kings and Nines) (Pre 47%, Flop 87%, Turn 5%)
Hero wins 10,889.00
I took a completely different route from the norm today, and I went with a backer to play some daily tourney's. I decided I wanted to offer someone the chance (ahem, do me the favour...) of buying 50% of my profits in the Big $5.50 and Big $8.80. Thankfully, I found someone with a similar passion to succeed, and a great skill set who was willing to take a risk on a complete stranger. To make a long, crying story short, I didn't get to play the $5.50, tanked the $8.80, got bad beat out of the $22 and Big $11 (AJ < A2 twice, wouldn't you know?), and played the deep stack $11 like an absolute donk. The concept of playing poker with the pressure of performing well from an egotistical standpoint, along with the pressure of meeting financial goals has actually been a refreshing experience. I found myself more careful and decisive (and yes, sometimes admittedly weak) in my decision making. Either way, I tanked first 5 tournaments only to finish semi-deep in the last one. $26 for a $4 buy-in. Yay. (Still failed today, but it was a great experience. I can't thank my backer enough.)
Anywho, I'm going to write more in the morning. I've suddenly been hit by a brick wall of tired... Zzzzzz.
*****
The difference between sleeping from 12-7 and sleeping from 5-1 is incredible. It's like our bodies are one with the Earth's rotation. My body somehow knew I slept during the right time, and I feel like I achieved maximum... sleeping... potential? (I'm... Ron... Burgundy?) Honestly, this is one routine I can get used to forcing myself into. I find it funny how sleep starts as something you fight off as a child, to something you can't get enough of as you get older. There aren't a lot of things like that in life. Sleep and money are two of those things.
Older. Brings me back to a good conversation I had with my backer yesterday. The last few months, for the sake of being blunt, I've felt extremely old. Sure, anyone over the age of 25 will scoff, call me naive, and say 20 is such a young age, I've got my whole life ahead of me, etc. Life and age is all about perspective. It's about who you surround yourself with. I've always been used to surrounding myself in an older group. I was the grade ten student, walking around flirting with the grade 12 crowd. As a matter of fact, I even had trouble adapting to meeting people in my University program because of my put-offish attitude towards 'younger' people. I totally come across as condescending sometimes, regarding myself as 'higher' than someone of a less mature stature, and it's a personality flaw I'm making as my quarter-year's resolution to fix. People grow, but it's all a process. Processes take time, and being so adhd-riddled, this is a huge barrier for me. I have difficulties coming to terms with NOT telling a friend in high school why his/her 'drama' is laughable compared to problems in real life. Nobody wants to hear that their problems are trivial, yet in my head I feel it solves all problems to say, "Get over it" because that's my most used problem-solving method. In summary, I'm a condescending prick, and it's hopefully fixable. Rant, rant, rant... back to poker...
I'm going to go into more detail in a later post, but I've decided I'm only going to play 5NL in between tournaments, as tournaments are what I know best. It's like learning to ride a motorcycle, only to ride a bicycle to work every day. This same ideology applies in poker. Tournament junkies probably have to face the most vitriol because of the rarity of their winning sessions. My backer exuded such a cavalier attitude to finishing 30th in the $5r last night, I was astonished. The composure and confidence he brings into every game is something I look forward to promoting in my game. This brings me to my next point. It really doesn't matter what you do in life, as long as you yourself can rationalize doing it. If the best possible discourse to fix something in your life involves something that defies the social norm, in the long run, who cares? Once you lose all barriers of defying a cookie-cutter life, your life will start flourishing because of it.
That's it, I'm done. I'm having an issue with my Pokertracker (it thinks I won every tournament yesterday, which I guess isn't such a bad thing...) so this post will be void of graphs, unfortunately. This will be fixed by my next post. :) Cheers, and thanks again for all your feedback. Greatly appreciated.
~~~~~
Hand of the Day
PokerStars - $4+$0.40|100/200 NL - Holdem - 9 players
UTG+1: 10,816.00
UTG+2: 13,296.00
Hero (MP): 4,757.00
MP+1: 6,143.00
CO: 3,546.00
BTN: 10,770.00
SB: 12,024.00
BB: 23,847.00
UTG: 11,456.00
UTG+1 posts ante 25.00, UTG+2 posts ante 25.00, Hero posts ante 25.00, MP+1 posts ante 25.00, CO posts ante 25.00, BTN posts ante 25.00, SB posts ante 25.00, BB posts ante 25.00, UTG posts ante 25.00, SB posts SB 100.00, BB posts BB 200.00
Pre Flop: (pot: 525.00) Hero has 3d 3c
UTG raises to 400.00, fold, fold, Hero calls 400.00, MP+1 calls 400.00, fold, fold, SB calls 300.00, BB calls 200.00
Flop: (2225.00, 5 players) 2d Kd 2c
SB checks, BB checks, UTG checks, Hero checks, MP+1 checks
Turn: (2225.00, 5 players) 3s
SB bets 600.00, fold, fold, Hero calls 600.00, fold
River: (3425.00, 2 players) 9h
SB bets 1,800.00, Hero raises to 3,732.00 and is all-in, SB calls 1,932.00
Hero shows 3d 3c (Full House, Threes full of Twos) (Pre 53%, Flop 13%, Turn 95%)
SB shows 9s Kh (Two Pair, Kings and Nines) (Pre 47%, Flop 87%, Turn 5%)
Hero wins 10,889.00
Friday, 20 April 2012
Wake Up Call
One of the best mornings I have ever had.
Yesterday, for lack of a better term, was a slopshow in my micro-grinding quest. My level of play was admittedly poor after taking some harsh beats at the tables. One of my goals should've ultimately been to leave the tables and go for a walk as soon as I felt my play was sub-optimal, but instead I broke a couple rules, took a few chances, and ended the day with high profits.
I came back to tournament life.
After vowing to stay the **** away until I reached 100 MTT buy-ins, I donked a fifth of my stack in a $2r (12K) this morning. The only justice here is that I played unbelievably well, only to finish 38th for $55. (AA < JTo on a xxxTJ board, all in pre.) My former self would've tilted the rest of his bankroll off in a cash game, but instead, realizing with only $70 in my new Stars bankroll, I needed to regain composure and went deep in the $3 turbo as well. So much for not playing tournaments anymore... (I blame the Assassinato, for having so many final table announcements and making +25k in the last week or so.)
Anyway, the main reason for this post is to announce I may be leaving Ottawa for the summer to go work with a friend in Lindsay. However comfortable I've become here, I'm almost positive I can't turn down the offer presented to me. While grinding the $5NL for profit has been, for lack of a better word, semi-non-profitable, I can't wait to have a steady 4-digit cheque to look forward to again every month, regardless of variance, bad play, or tilt. I am both excited and nervous for this venture, but by September, I hope my Stars bankroll and life bankroll is high enough to support myself while going to school. (If not, I've flirted with the idea of taking a year off again to work.) I realized a lot of my decisions lately have been based on pleasing others over doing what I truly want to do. (ie, NOT leaving $2k on Pokerstars, packing my bags, and grinding a sustainable income while living in the Dominican for a month or two, making internet cash, catching some waves.)
Anyway, this post is long enough for your short attention spans, I'll just leave you with my sad cash chart for April 19th, and a hand of the day. Thanks again for taking time to read this, as I've said many, many, many, many, many times, it means the world to me to know this isn't all for naught. (For the record, I'm going to add a third chart, showing cumulative cash+tournament earnings as well. Just for all you graph junkies. :)
...enjoy this first hand of the Big $5.50 this morning as much as I did. (Literally, I laughed, shut my laptop, fell asleep.)
~~~~~
PokerStars - $5+$0.50|15/30 NL - Holdem - 9 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4: http://www.pokertracker.com
UTG: 3,190.00
UTG+1: 2,990.00
UTG+2: 2,638.00
MP: 2,980.00
MP+1: 3,650.00
Hero (CO): 3,000.00
BTN: 2,780.00
SB: 2,910.00
BB: 2,440.00
SB posts SB 15.00, BB posts BB 30.00
Pre Flop: (pot: 45.00) Hero has Kh Kc
fold, fold, fold, fold, MP+1 raises to 120.00, Hero raises to 390.00, BTN calls 390.00, fold, fold, MP+1 calls 270.00
Flop: (1215.00, 3 players) Tc 5d 7s
MP+1 checks, Hero bets 600.00, fold, MP+1 calls 600.00
Turn: (2415.00, 2 players) Td
MP+1 checks, Hero bets 930.00, MP+1 calls 930.00
River: (4275.00, 2 players) 8s
MP+1 bets 960.00, Hero raises to 1,080.00 and is all-in, MP+1 calls 120.00
Hero shows Kh Kc (Two Pair, Kings and Tens) (Pre 85%, Flop 81%, Turn 91%)
MP+1 shows Jd 9c (Straight, Jack High) (Pre 15%, Flop 19%, Turn 9%)
MP+1 wins 6,435.00
~~~~~
Yesterday, for lack of a better term, was a slopshow in my micro-grinding quest. My level of play was admittedly poor after taking some harsh beats at the tables. One of my goals should've ultimately been to leave the tables and go for a walk as soon as I felt my play was sub-optimal, but instead I broke a couple rules, took a few chances, and ended the day with high profits.
I came back to tournament life.
After vowing to stay the **** away until I reached 100 MTT buy-ins, I donked a fifth of my stack in a $2r (12K) this morning. The only justice here is that I played unbelievably well, only to finish 38th for $55. (AA < JTo on a xxxTJ board, all in pre.) My former self would've tilted the rest of his bankroll off in a cash game, but instead, realizing with only $70 in my new Stars bankroll, I needed to regain composure and went deep in the $3 turbo as well. So much for not playing tournaments anymore... (I blame the Assassinato, for having so many final table announcements and making +25k in the last week or so.)
Anyway, the main reason for this post is to announce I may be leaving Ottawa for the summer to go work with a friend in Lindsay. However comfortable I've become here, I'm almost positive I can't turn down the offer presented to me. While grinding the $5NL for profit has been, for lack of a better word, semi-non-profitable, I can't wait to have a steady 4-digit cheque to look forward to again every month, regardless of variance, bad play, or tilt. I am both excited and nervous for this venture, but by September, I hope my Stars bankroll and life bankroll is high enough to support myself while going to school. (If not, I've flirted with the idea of taking a year off again to work.) I realized a lot of my decisions lately have been based on pleasing others over doing what I truly want to do. (ie, NOT leaving $2k on Pokerstars, packing my bags, and grinding a sustainable income while living in the Dominican for a month or two, making internet cash, catching some waves.)
Anyway, this post is long enough for your short attention spans, I'll just leave you with my sad cash chart for April 19th, and a hand of the day. Thanks again for taking time to read this, as I've said many, many, many, many, many times, it means the world to me to know this isn't all for naught. (For the record, I'm going to add a third chart, showing cumulative cash+tournament earnings as well. Just for all you graph junkies. :)
...enjoy this first hand of the Big $5.50 this morning as much as I did. (Literally, I laughed, shut my laptop, fell asleep.)
~~~~~
PokerStars - $5+$0.50|15/30 NL - Holdem - 9 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4: http://www.pokertracker.com
UTG: 3,190.00
UTG+1: 2,990.00
UTG+2: 2,638.00
MP: 2,980.00
MP+1: 3,650.00
Hero (CO): 3,000.00
BTN: 2,780.00
SB: 2,910.00
BB: 2,440.00
SB posts SB 15.00, BB posts BB 30.00
Pre Flop: (pot: 45.00) Hero has Kh Kc
fold, fold, fold, fold, MP+1 raises to 120.00, Hero raises to 390.00, BTN calls 390.00, fold, fold, MP+1 calls 270.00
Flop: (1215.00, 3 players) Tc 5d 7s
MP+1 checks, Hero bets 600.00, fold, MP+1 calls 600.00
Turn: (2415.00, 2 players) Td
MP+1 checks, Hero bets 930.00, MP+1 calls 930.00
River: (4275.00, 2 players) 8s
MP+1 bets 960.00, Hero raises to 1,080.00 and is all-in, MP+1 calls 120.00
Hero shows Kh Kc (Two Pair, Kings and Tens) (Pre 85%, Flop 81%, Turn 91%)
MP+1 shows Jd 9c (Straight, Jack High) (Pre 15%, Flop 19%, Turn 9%)
MP+1 wins 6,435.00
~~~~~
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